Jaded, but oh so lovely

17th October 2011

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The War Is Over

You know what else is over, Kelly Clarkson? My social life now that your album’s leaked.

PS: If you’re going to spend money on an album this year, people, do it on this one. The girl deserves it.

Tagged: kelly clarksonalbum of the yeargimme a grammy yo

7th December 2010

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Yupp, I’m alive

Thought it might be fun to post an update on my life to the whole five-ish people that actually read this.

According to my calendar, I’ve been at Temple for exactly 105 days, and it’s absolutely mind-blowing to think about. And honestly, the more I’m here, the more it’s all starting to feel like high school 2.0. I was sitting in class yesterday, and thought to myself how many more semesters I have to go through before I can graduate - and I actually did a mind-scoff. I didn’t even know that was possible.

But I digress. I don’t hate Temple, just to clarify. I merely hate the lifestyle right now. Wake up, go to class, grab lunch, “study,” get dinner, sleep, repeat. Thankfully I have a few outside things to keep me entertained, and a fun cast of friends that never fail to make life interesting, but I can’t wait for the day I have that diploma in my hand and can move on from this stage of life.

On the professional side of things, I’m starting to really sink my teeth into the world of journalism. My column seems to be doing pretty well, and it’s surreal to think that I’ve actually interviewed legitimate political candidates and done stories on things that matter. It’s a far stretch from my days of high school journalism, where I wrote video game reviews and bitched about life in a bi-weekly column (on second thought, some things haven’t changed). I’ve also looked into starting my own non-personal blog, and I’m taking to heart some of the suggestions I’ve gotten from presenters that have come to Temple via PHIJI. I’ll let y’all know when I have more solid details on just what my blog will be, and when it will be up and running.

On a personal level, life is pretty much the same, perhaps with a few new experiences and life lessons under my belt. It’s funny, but I feel like I’ve learned more about life being in college than I have from my academics. I’ve learned lessons about all sorts of things - what it means to be “moral,” what it means to wholeheartedly love, and the importance of presenting an image of yourself to others that isn’t entirely fabricated. Yes, it’s been an eventful past four months, and I’m eager to see where the next four take me. I’m hoping for big things.

And who knows, maybe the next time I blog (however many more weeks/months from now that may be), I’ll have completely new lessons to share based on my college life. Here’s to the double-edged sword that is the “college experience”!

29th October 2010

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federeraddict asked: Hey there. How'd you find me?

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26th October 2010

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Moving on isn’t about forgetting - it’s about learning

Being a college freshman is proving to be a much more complicated time in my life than I’d anticipated. For the first time in my life, I’m at a crossroads, and I’m not sure which direction I want to go in. I’ve always been a big proponent of karma and fate, and I’m seeing these beliefs being solidified two long, dramatic months into my college career.

I’m at a stage where I’m moving on - from my rural, sheltered life in Waynesboro, from my complex adolescence, and now from an unexpected relationship that I never fully expected to, but still hoped, would blossom. And what I’ve noticed, as I’ve gotten advice from different people and spent the last few days venting to anyone and everyone that will listen, is that most have a very simple and, in my opinion, wrong outlook on how to move on. This, subsequently, has me wondering just what it does really mean to “move on”.

I’ve spent much of my life being the observant, quiet kid in the corner that soaks everything in, and tries to learn from everyone else’s experiences and mistakes. Somewhere along the line, I think I built up some sort of envy for these people - wanting to experience these so-called “normal” experiences for myself. And now that I’ve experienced one of these common conflicts, I’m not so sure that I understand how people move on, or why they do so in the way that they do. It seems to me that a lot of people define moving on as simply forgetting about it, placing blame on someone/something else, pushing it to the back of your mind, or pretending that you don’t care. But guess what - that’s not going to help when you make the same mistakes the second time around.

This begs the question … Why is it so difficult for people to deal with their problems?

I’m not going to pretend to be perfect, because I’m not, but I know that if I don’t tackle these feelings head-on, they’ll come back to haunt me. Sure, it sucks right now, but to quote a viral movement as of late, it does get better. I don’t want to just “forget about” something, I want to learn something, and move on a stronger, better person than I was before.

There’s a lot I’m moving on from, and a lot of responsibility headed my way in a nearer-than-I-realized future, and I want to be ready to take on the world when it comes my way. I have a deep-rooted history full of troubles, sorrows, and struggles … but what doesn’t kill me, will only make me stronger. So starting today, I’m moving on - not to forget my problems and perpetuate naivety - but to be the best person I can be for a society that needs me just as much as I need it.

25th October 2010

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Finding joy in sacrifice

I’ve always been under the impression that I inherited more character traits from my mother than my father, and I’m finding this to be more and more true as time goes on. When I was growing up (and even today), my mother was always that giving person who was easily mooched off of and who loved to spoil her children. But now, as I’m transitioning into adulthood, I find myself dealing with new relationships I’ve never developed before, and I’m starting to further understand why she is that way - and why I’m now becoming that person myself.

Self-sacrifice is the key to good character, and to demonstrating just how important someone really is to you. I’ve learned that the concept of relationships being all about “give-and-take” is nothing but a crock. Loving someone isn’t about wanting something in return, it’s about wanting to give, and selflessly enjoy someone’s smile that you’re responsible for enacting. Perhaps there is a tiny bit of selfishness implanted in that idea, but even so, it seems to be a purely innocent form of selfishness. My history teacher and pseudo-confidante told me a few days before I graduated that there are three keys to living a good life, and one of those conditions was that one needs to learn to love, rather than be loved. And as it turns out, she was absolutely right.

I won’t pretend to know all of the secrets to living a good life, but I can say that I am slowly but surely learning what I need in order to live out a fulfilled, happy life. It may take a few more risks, another handful of heartbreaks, and a drink or two along the way to fully understand it all, but I’m getting there. And you know what? I couldn’t be more excited to find out just where I’m going.